Control drives many of us and it is a hard thing to control! It is like we have to realise we want control and then realise how to let it go when necessary. If we can control how we can control our lives will become calm and at every level we will function better. Starting with the awareness and praising yourself for simply this, is a great start, so even reading this article is a positive start.
The times when people may have to reconsider control in their lives:
1. When their children start to show signs of rebellious behaviour. This sign of behaviour might make people think they have to control their children more, but actually the answer is to relinquish less control to gain more control.
2. If you are not getting on well with people.
3. If you are not happy with yourself.
It is vital to remember that we can only control ourselves and when we try to control others we become anxious because we have no control as to whether the person does what we want or not. However, it is hard to realise we are on this type of merry-go-round behaviour of controlling people and it probably takes a visit to the psychologist, or a friend to say: “Cut the control, it’s destroying you.”
Bryon Katie talks about only being in your business and when you say to yourself: “They shouldn’t buy that.” You need to ask yourself: “Whose business am I in?”
The following is from Byron Katie’s Blog and can be found at: http://www.byronkatie.com/2006/09/whose-business-are-you-minding/
Whose Business Are You In?
Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business.
If you’re not sure, stop and ask, “Mentally, whose business am I in?”
There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.
Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business.
Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business.
Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.
Life is simple—it is internal.
Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else’s business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).
Ask yourself: “Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?” And more importantly, “Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?”