New bed new beginning
When I was in my early 20s I worked for a newspaper on Brisbane’s south side. I covered court stories and I wrote feature articles. I was intrigued about infidelity, but in a positive way and I tried to understand it. I was only young and now I still don’t understand it, but the difference is I don’t try to anymore. Because to understand that I would have to understand people!!!! The article I wrote was mainly about prostitutes believing they were doing wives favours. To them it was a service they could offer to some husbands because their wives couldn’t!
Relationships are so unbelievably complex. Just recently I have had the pleasure of hearing some guys speak about girls doing ‘weird’ things and it was kind of nice to know that the ‘shoe is on the other foot’ sometimes! Ohh and by weird I mean mixed messages! It is just for years I just thought girls over analysed and processed things and went psycho, but now I know guys do too!!!!
I recently heard a guy say when a person loses lots of weight after a relationship has ended it is their bodies’ way of preparing for the next relationship! I never looked at it like that!
These days with an influx of separated families like never before we just have to be mindful of the impact on children. If we can’t understand our own relationship….wow..then no one can! Give kids the chance to grow in the situation and still love both parents and be the best they can possibly be.
Ohh if everyone tried the honesty policy the world would be less complex. No games, no lies just how it is…from the heart. I think some people can do this some of the time, but not all people all of the time!!!
FYI:
You may be interested in watching a series current screening on the ABC called “AGONY UNCLES” – where some of Australia’s supposedly funniest and wisest celebrity gents put their “reputations” on the line to tell you what it’s really like to be single, cohabitate, marry, divorce and then be single again in the 21st century. Like normal people should be taking important, life changing advice from them???? Don’t get me wrong, it is interesting and entertaining but I hope people don’t see this as a documentary. Some of the quotes I picked out:
- “I wasn’t sure if my wife was cheating on me with him or she was cheating on him with me”
- “Breaking up should be like trying to get yourself sacked – and we all know how easy that is”
- “Never tell her how many women you have slept with”
- “You know you are in love when you don’t share all the dirty details with your mates the next day”
- “Have a 3 month trial separation, you will enjoy it so much that you wont want to go back”
Agony Uncles is celebrated as “an unblinking 6-part, half-hour factual series that charts the do’s and don’ts of picking-up, falling in love, getting your heart broken and losing a house” I’ll let you be the Judge. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/agonyuncles/
Here is an excerpt:
Caz says
Interesting!
Doc says
I too enjoyed your article immensly Shaz. I have hitherto been seriously quite disgusted by some of my so called esteemed colleagues and their propensity to partake in commercial sexual transactions with apalling and inexcusable excuses thinly veiled as “my wife doesnt understand me”, “i get what I dont get at home”, “they do things my wife wont”, “I have needs”, “they provide an important service”….. As you quite rightly pointed out in a previous article, these are intelligent men (and women I might dare to add) who should obviously realise the inherent dangers of this abhorent behavior to not only themselves but also their loved ones. I watch, with great delight, some of those mindless TV shows where they catch these selfish home wreckers in the heinous act. I have dug deeply into my repertoire and I am afraid that I only have one word left to say: YUK!!!!!
Oh how I wish sometimes I were a Swan – it is a fact that they are one of the only things on this planet who can satisfy their partner for life and are one of my special friend’s favourite things 🙂 Interestingly however, despite some people’s preference for the Black Swan, is not entirely monogamous and believed to have an approximate 5% divorce rate. I also believe that recent studies have shown that around a third of all broods exhibit extra-pair paternity. An estimated one-quarter of all pairings are homosexual, mostly between males. They steal nests, or form temporary threesomes with females to obtain eggs, driving away the female after she lays the eggs – you see some of us humans arent so bad after all when you postulate the lack of innocence even in the animal kingdom! It is such a tragedy that some do not fully realise the majesty of the Swan and seem content to satisfy and even amuse themselves with a bullet!
Doc
Shaz says
yes a swan, white and pure…nice Doc 🙂
Caz says
Doc a very interesting article you wrote,I am curious about you.Enlighten me!
Doc says
Oh Carol….. My what a lovely name you have! All the better when one is jingling bells during the festive season I would assume. I find myself experiencing deep fuzzy feelings of flattery in sparking your curiosity and I owe you a decent response. For reasons best known only to me, I feel that I must cautiously reveal only a little snippet about me and I do so hope that will be enough to satisfy your curiousity. Well here we go…. As you may have guessed I am in the medical profession, and my specialty, is believe it or not, involved in mending broken hearts. However, although our profession is part of who we are, our life explains how we got to where we are. From a point in perhaps my late teens I flippantly lived my life in the proverbial fast lane, refusing to stay left, except when overtaking those who rudely blocked my path to self destruction. I had an insatiable desire for all things fast and the ultimate associated rushes. Unfortunately, my prize remained always just beyond my grasp and each of my subsequent highs required more risk than the one which had so stupefied me previously. Then one glorious day I had an epiphany! I realised that I although I though I was winning the rat race I was still nothing but a mere dirty rat! Although I always wanted to be somebody, I realised, almost too late, that I should have been somewhat more specific! Although I loved many things, I was only being loved for what I had and only loving for what I could get. Although some summised that jail may have been the ultimate outcome for my previous behaviour, I now realised that by far the the worst prison would be a closed heart and unrequitted love. For all my trinkets, toys and trophies, I realised that although there are many things in life that will catch your eye, only a few will ever catch your heart….so that is what I pursued. I was not naive enough to think that I could miraculously transform over night, but by turning to my skill of getting what I want I realised that I could use it for good, rather than evil and even with only a very small degree of hope it was more than sufficient to cause the birth of a love of life.
Fortunately for me, and only just in time, the mighty universe decided that I was a soul worth saving and I won the lottery of life when it quite suddenly delivered to me the most wonderful of angels, one that even god himself could not even dare to envisage. Til now I did not even believe that angels existed, let alone be so incredibly damn funny, understand my complex thought processes or look better in a pair of short shorts than Daisy Duke from Dukes of Hazzard (forgive that neanderthal comment but they do envoke a somewhat primitive male instinctive response). Although our circumstances dictate that we cannot spend 24/7 in each others arms, I have to believe that absence diminishes any mediocre passions and increases the extraordinary ones, as a strong breeze will extinguish a candle but fan an inferno.
My new found passion has manifested itself in an hitherto suppressed love of the arts, music, painting, writing and, of course, those who create such masterpieces. Rather than the commercially tainted works of the popular artists, I am deeply intrigued by blogs! I quite literally stumbled upon Shaz’s blog when it was still very much in its infancy and have watched her style develop and her confidence increase over a very short period of time. I awake each morning and even before coffee I check for her latest literary contribution – the advanatge is being in an opposite sleep/time zone. Caz (may I dare to call you that?), please forgive me if I am wrong, but given your propensity for commenting on Shaz’s blog, if only somewhat briefly, I detect the existance of many wonderful thoughts in your mind? I encourage you to set them free in the safe environment of anonimity. Take it from me it feels gooooooooood! and frees our mind from the the burden of unrequitted expression to focus on the other daily little things which we must deal with face to face. I invite you to whimsically comment on Shaz’s posts, show your deep affection for them, come live a while in that part of my mind that appreciates the talent of others and acknowledges them, for there is no rent to pay there. At the touch of love everyman becomes a poet. A deep study of and appreciation for someones special qualities, leads to affection and I believe that CS Lewis said “affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives”.
I must go now and prepare for my next adventure – a Sebattical Cruise
My last thought for the day:
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage”.
Stevo says
Thanks Shaz – awesome article!! I think your readers will enjoy that ABC series but perhaps not for the right reasons or for any good advice. I watched a little last night and, my apologies to the brotherhood, just listening to those p$#@s it is very hard for me not to think that their own attitude may have been the major cause of their breakups! In fact how any decent woman could fall for some of them in the first place is way beyond my comprehension? I dont think them being honest with their partners is the starting point to improving their relationships – more being honest with themselves and getting off their arrogant high horses and realising that they aren’t all that. They give us decent blokes a bad name made 1000 times worse by the fact they claim to be an accurate representation of us – in the public eye. I rest my case.