Infidelity and the questions
If we were to add the word ‘around’ to the word “sleep” it conjures up different meanings.
English: “Sleep”
French: “Sommeil”
Dutch: “Slaap”
German: “Schlaf”
Infidelity or ‘sleeping around’ is one of many reasons marriages and relationships fall apart. For a lot of people infidelity is a deal breaker, however, there is no reason why two people cannot piece it back together if this is what both people want. Here are some of the questions people may need to ask their mind and heart after someone has been unfaithful towards them:
1. Do I still love my spouse?
2. Do I want to stay in the relationship?
3. Is the affair finished? Is it likely to re-occur?
4. Am I prepared to sort out my marriage problems?
5. Can I learn to trust my spouse again?
6. What do I want to do?
7. If I was to split up would I grow to be happy?
8. Do I believe that between us, we can prevent the situation from occurring again?
9. Will I/we seek professional help?
Charlotte Templeton says
I’d like to address my comments to Dave C. who says there’s no way to forgive and forget. I think my marriage has proved this wrong. There was infidelity in the early years based on alcohol problems and abuse, but that was a long time ago, and we’ve now been married for almost 37 years. It did take a lot of time and effort to regain the trust and feel secure in the relationship again, but we both learned from the experience, and we both made the effort to change. I can’t say it has always been easy since that time, because no close relationship ever is, but it has been happy and healthy, and we managed to raise our two children to be stable, productive adults. I’d call us a success story.
Shaz says
Stories like that are great to hear Charlotte and provide encouragement for many others. I love reading success stories like yours – thank you. Shaz.
Caz says
Nine very good questions to ask yourself if that situation does occur,sadly it occurs all too often for many couples.
Dave C says
A definite deal breaker Shaz! Despite people thinking they can forgive and forget there will always be those thoughts of “will it happen again” in the back of the mind. There are also many other, mostly innocent parties involved or effected by the situation, ones kids, the other person’s partner and their kids, friends who maybe knew about it but kept the painful secret etc etc Counselling for them may be required? There is also the very real possibility of contracting STD’s so having that testing should not be forgotten about. Some men, and women too I suppose, feel that obtaining professional services is OK as it is just a business transaction – I cannot condone that either.
Then there are relationships where one or other is continually worried that it may happen or have unsubstantiated suspicians that it may be. This is just as sad, as when someone does not feel comfortable or secure with their partner this may cause them to be tempted to seek solace elsewhere??? Perhaps that negative thought that one’s partner is an attractive proposition to someone else, and stressing about it and driving them away, could be turned into a positive thing by reminding them of how special, attractive and wanted they are – thus maybe reducing the possibility of wanting or needing to stray?