Trying to Cope When Your Spouse Sleeps Around
There’s no denying that the most damaging blow anyone can deal a marriage is the infidelity of one of the spouses. The act means breaking a trust that should be sacred within the relationship, and the wronged spouse is left feeling like there’s no hope for happiness within the marriage ever again. It’s true that it’s hard to get over the negative emotions you are left with when you spouse cheats on you, but if you are totally committed to your union, then you’ll surely want to try. Read on to find out ways to get on with your life and rebuild the bond.
Disbelief at what you’ve just learned gives way to a host of other emotions. You feel sad, hurt, angry, crushed, devastated, alone, and like your entire world has just crashed and burned. All kinds of mental pictures form, and you just can’t banish them from your head. You must reach a point, though, where your rational thinking kicks in and you’re able to make cool, reasonable decisions about where you go from here. After all, this is a monumental decision that is going to impact the lives of you, your spouse, and your children for the rest of your lifetimes.
The decision needs to be yours and yours alone. Although friends and relatives may offer well-meant advice, only you know how you feel, and only you can determine what’s best. You have to decide if your marriage is worth trying to salvage, and you have to get a true idea of whether your spouse feels the same way. If the cheating spouse isn’t committed to rebuilding, then it’s going to be an uphill battle that you probably won’t win. If, instead, he or she is truly remorseful and willing to work things out, then there’s a chance that things can return to normal someday.
It takes a long time for feelings to heal, but it can be done. The two of you need to spend a lot of time talking about what led up to the infidelity and what you can change that won’t make that route tempting again. Through these discussions you’ll get a better understanding of where your spouse is coming from and will better be able to assess his or her actual intentions regarding the future of your relationship. While it’s easy to pin guilt or to feel sorry for yourself, those emotions aren’t going to solve anything. Only honesty and calm, cool decision-making over a period of time are going to help you reconstruct your marriage.