Bed wetting is a frustrating issue for all concerned. The most important advice is I can give is think of something you can’t control (like snoring) and if someone yelled at you and told you – you were naughty and stupid – would this help you to be able to stop blinking? Probably not – in truth, it would probably also make you more nervous than ever and attach other negative emotions to the issue. And what makes it harder with some issues like bedwetting is the person is asleep.
Is bed wetting a choice?
Well I do not believe it is. Occasionally a child may think – I can’t be bothered getting up so here goes! However, a chronic bed wetter does not choose to wet their bed every night. If a person is really choosing this behaviour – there could be deeper problems than bed wetting – so probably good to look elsewhere first.
How do parents control their frustration and anger?
Make sure the child helps in the cleaning process and is not rude to you because of the night change he/she has to endure etc. Do research and understand the complexities. If it was as simple as not doing it – your child would have stopped now. If you to get angry – say sorry – and explain to the child why and it is not because of them but because of being woken and the extra work etc.
Whose job is it to clean up the bed?
It is everyone’s job to help – the parent and the child.
What options do you have?
1. To be patient and a caring and supportive parent;
2. To ridicule and make the child feel small.
Some solutions that worked for others:
1. chiropractor visits to strengthen muscles in the urinating area
2. homeopath visits
3. the bed wetting mat (a much better option than the bed wetting device that goes in their underwear)
These solutions can work together or independently. If your child feels positive about the situation any solution has a much better success rate. Knowing the person you are helping and finding a pleasant solution is the best option.
Due to my extensive research – I would see a psychologist as a final resort. I don’t think this alone can produce total success.
What to say to your child:
1. “We will sort this”;
2. “There are lots of kids like you – it is normal.”
3. “It is normal to be embarrassed too – I understand that.”
4. “Lots of kids use the pyjama pants for 9-12 year olds. I know this because the shelves are often empty.”
5. Tell them if you had a issue with it when you were a child.
6. “Be patient and listen to my suggestions and we will find the best one for you.”