Tucking kids in at night is sometimes emotional; maybe together you have had a great day or a particularly hard day. Whatever the tears might be about, it is crucial that your child feels like they can tell you why they are sad.
As parents, we can take things to heart and make the comment about us; but in reality the comment is about how the child is feeling. If we feel guilty about something, we are likely to take what the child says to heart. As parents it is hard not to feel guilty sometimes, but it is important to remember we are imperfect and as long as we are loving and caring and constantly strive to improve what we are not happy with, it will be okay.
If your child has a tear at night because they miss the other parent; try hard to not let your thoughts drift to things like:
What! – their Mum/Dad doesn’t give two rats about them,
What!– I am the one who does everything
What! – he/she just parties all of the time and I am the one picking up the pieces.
Instead, try and think:
Wow! I am lucky my child can confide in me.
Wow! It is healthy to miss their Mum/Dad. I will make sure they call them tomorrow.
Wow! This isn’t a comment about me, I am trying hard to be a supportive parent. This is a normal emotion and missing Mum/Dad is normal and a good thing.
My 10-year-old daughter said to me tonight that it was hard missing her Dad and then she said it was hard missing both of us when she is with one of us. I said to her I am glad she told me and that it is sweet that she misses him and he would miss her too and because it wasn’t too late I said she could call him again. Missing the other parent would be hard and we mustn’t think that just because our kids do it regularly that it is easy.