Of course there are boring books to read to fix the ‘being bored in the bedroom problem’, but the answer is in doing something away from the bedroom scene and with your partner. I would suggest saying to your partner: “Let’s do something you want to do today and tomorrow or next weekend we will do something I want to do.”
The idea is to pick something both people will enjoy though because it is a bonding exercise. If people think great I will think something that they will hate and they will leave me alone to do my own thing in the future – I wonder why there’s sex or intimacy issues!?
Some people find intimacy easier than others and at different times of their lives. People might be married for many years and suddenly one partner starts to redefine things about themselves and these times can be challenging. Partnership or marriage is about give and take. Both people must be sure they are doing all they can to be loving and caring and thoughtful in every aspect of their lives. It is important that people take the time to remember and get to know the things that are important to the other person. If it is a tiny thing then this is easy to do regularly, like keep the shoes lined up in the entry hall or put the hammer back in the right place! These things might seem insignificant in the big picture of life, however, to one person, it means an awful lot.
Other things that people enjoy include: walks, motorcycle rides, surfing, gardening, drives, massages, reading, flowers, a lovely meal cooked, a letter, surprises, a new pretty coffee mug. The list is endless, but it just gets hard at times because we live in a world of get this done, do that, where is that, have you finished that yet?
Start seeing sex issues as an opportunity to see and experiment with life in a fun and loving way.