Kids seeing their parents having sex is embarrassing and probably not ideal for kids to see; mainly because they don’t understand it!
If your kids do see – do not ignore it. If you haven’t already have an age appropriate ‘sex talk’. If you have already, then re-visit the subject and touch base.
Some things to say: Please remember this is a rough guide; it does depend on the child’s development and exposure to sexual topics in the family:
Mummy and Daddy were having special cuddles (6 years and under).
We were having adult time and it is important you knock (8 plus years).
Adults need time to be close and together. What you saw was Mummy and Daddy being close (6 – 8 years).
Some families are very open and it may be very obvious when sex happens. When talking to people about advice, on what to tell kids, after they have seen you having sex, remember everyone has personal perceptions. Be caring and supportive in your chat and by no way blame your child for seeing things they couldn’t help or go into too much detail.
If you think your kids are asleep and you get the feeling by what they have said that they have seen ‘things’ it is probably time to be a little more private.
Privacy is a good thing to teach kids. We all need privacy at times in our lives.
Kids need to be taught to knock if a door is closed and wait until they are invited in. This is not a negative thing to do to kids. Adults need some private time and shutting the door is the best way to do this. Parents should not feel guilty. Having time to be adults is very important and probably more important when we are parents!
If you need to start shutting the door, call a family meeting and explain what privacy is and that it is necessary to family members to respect privacy at times. At the meeting, make sure everyone knows the ‘closed door’ protocol!
If you have small kids and knocking is still be perfected then put a chair at the door so you will hear this when the door bangs into the chair. A wedge or washing basket will work to!