Admitting you are not having sex immediately gives others power. Years ago it was embarrassing to be having sex, even for married couples, however, now it is considered abnormal if anyone, married or not, is not having sex. Times have changed and with sex and how society views it – and this goes with sex and its complexities, constantly being in a state of change in society.
So, should you lie if you are not having sex? I don’t think so, I think you should say whatever you feel comfortable with. A safe thing to say would be to put it back on the other person and probe into their private life and turn the conversation around! SBS has many educational shows on sex and these shows may be empowering to people.
It is a connotation in society that if people are having sex, their relationship is in order and everything is perfect. This is not true. If people feel the need to boast about sex, it may mean other areas are lacking or they are actually not confident about their sexual situation at the moment. Their situation and their worries could have nothing to do with sex, however, for some, telling people he or she is sexually active (even if this is false) gives them power to cope during their tough time. For a short time, this thinking is not harmful, like any thinking which is not helpful, however, for extended periods, this thinking could be detrimental.
If you feel like you are faking the truth:
1. Ask yourself why and take time to understand your motive.
2. See someone and try and confide in them.
3. Write down your thoughts and experiment with how you feel when you are honest.